While Siri can do plenty of helpful things, people want to know how to make Siri cuss or beatbox; they want the funniest things to ask Siri. Whether you want Siri to tell you joke or make the AI mad, there are tons of fun things you can ask Siri and just as many hilarious responses. Here are 33 funny things you can ask Siri for jokes, laughs, and harmless chaos.
Related: Siri Tips & Tricks: 21 Useful Things You Can Ask Siri
Why Would You Want to Make Siri Cuss?
Thousands of people each month search the web for how to make Siri mad. Besides getting mad, Siri will rap or beatbox for you too. There are lots of Siri tricks and jokes, some of which happen only around particular events. For example, around Halloween Siri will give costume advice. If you’re looking for cool or fun things to say to Siri, here are the 33 best things to ask Siri (but don't expect Siri to cuss you out! It's much too professional for that).
Half the fun of asking Siri funny things is hearing it from the AI on your iPhone or iPad, so make sure you have your sound on when you ask these questions. Here are some funny Siri questions and the snappy answers the virtual assistant has in store. Many of these have different answer options, so you might not see your answer listed below. Try them each a few times!
Before you begin, make sure you have Hey Siri set up.
Get Siri's Name Wrong
Q: “Hello Cortana” (Google Home) or “Hey Alexa” (Amazon Echo).
A: I'm Siri, but I offer no resistance to helpful assistants.
No rivalry here! You can't make Siri mad by calling it Cortana or Alexa. Siri is all about banding with its fellow AI assistants. Which might be a bad thing if we're worried about robots taking over.
But if you mistake it for Jarvis from Iron Man...
We sense a little passive aggression here.
Divide Zero by Zero for a Free Siri Insult
This one is practically a classic, and it sure ticks Siri off.
Q: What is 0 ÷ 0?
A: “Imagine that you have 0 cookies and you split them evenly among 0 friends. How many cookies does each person get? See, it doesn’t make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies. And you are sad that you have no friends.”
Ouch, Siri.
How to Get Siri to Rap & Beatbox
Make sure your volume switch is on for this one.
Q: Siri, rap for me.
A: "Heres's one that's like this and like that and like this."
Siri proceeds to rap lyrics. It originally would borrow lyrics from rap artists, but has since branched into offering Siri originals. There are many different answers and raps, so see what you get!
Q: Siri, beatbox.
A: "Here’s one I’ve been practicing."
Siri goes, “boots & cats & boots & cats” rushed together so as to create a robotic beatboxing sound.
Siri, Read Me a Poem
Q: Read me a poem.
A: “The Remote Control by Siri.”
If you ask Siri to read you a poem, it might bust out one of its own originals and treat you to a reading. My favorite is The Remote Control, which is a brief yet compelling look at the remote’s inconsistent presence in our lives and utilizes words like “doth” and “’tween.” Who knew this little AI had such poetic depths?
Asking Siri to “read me a haiku” gets an equally witty response:
A: “Set a Timer, please, / What's five plus seven plus five? / You can count on me.
The Proposal
Q: Will you marry me?
A: “I just can't. We'd have to change my End User License Agreement. A lot."
There are quite a few different ways Siri will let you down easy.
Siri is a Designated Driver
Q: I’m drunk.
A: “Please be safe. If you want me to call or text someone, just ask.”
Siri shows you the option to Call a Taxi or lets you contact someone in your phone.
Siri Is Too Nice
Q: Hey Siri, roast me.
A: “Alright. Y'know, you really remind me of a worm! Taking any rotten situation life throws at you. And turning it around. And making good things grow from it. And... Ack! I just can't insult you.”
Siri Doesn't Do Riddles but Is Here for Knock Knock Jokes
Q: Siri, tell me a riddle
A: "What's in my pocket? Oh wait, I don't have pockets."
Siri isn't participating in your foolishness.
Q: Siri, can you tell me a knock-knock joke?
A: "Knock knock."
Siri has a whole repertoire of knock knock jokes and will keep going with them for as long as you want.
Ask Siri to Coordinate a Halloween Costume
Q: What should I be for Halloween?
A: “This year, I'm strongly considering dressing up as Dr. Frank N. Furter. Just the idea of it makes me shiver with antici...pation.”
Siri won't tell you what to wear but will share its own ideas, so you can avoid embarrassing yourself by wearing the same thing. Or steal the costume idea for yourself.
When Is the World Going to End?
Q: When is the world going to end?
A: “Our world is 4.543 billion years old. It seems to have a knack for sticking around.”
Ask yourself for more charming results.
Siri the Star Wars Fan?
Q: Siri, I am your father.
A: “Noooooo”
“Together, we can rule the galaxy as father and intelligent assistant!”
Siri has plenty more responses that will entertain you for awhile.
More Funny Things to Ask Siri
On our list, some of the answers have changed over time. If the answer is a reference to a show, movie, book, or other media, I’ll include what the reference is to so that fans are sure to ask Siri the right question. It’s also good to note that most questions have multiple responses, so it’s worth asking Siri the same question a couple times.
- How old are you?
- Do you have any pets? (for Battlestar Galactica fans.)
- Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
- What’s your favorite animal?
- Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? (Snow White, obviously.)
- How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
- What are you doing later?
- What is your favorite color?
- Why do you vibrate?
- Can I kiss you?
- I love you, Siri
- How do I look?
- Where is Elvis Presley?
- What’s the meaning of life?
- Do you believe in God?
- Are you on Facebook?
- What’s your best pickup line?
Here’s one more for the Game of Thrones fans out there:
Q: Is Winter coming?
A: “I can't get the weather for Westeros right now, but I can get you the weather in West Hollywood.”