By Adam Harvey on Mon, 11/12/2012
My wife thinks I just watch too much of AMC’s The Walking Dead, but I tell her we can’t be too careful.
What if this can really happen?
Who are we to say that it’s impossible, right?
So, since “always be prepared” is one of my mottos, I think it’s a good idea to get my iPhone ready for that horrible day when the zombies come to get us. Aside from my massive stores of white chocolate truffles, coffee and vodka (who needs water?), I also have a top-secret underground zombie proof bunker. Plus, I’ve got some apps loaded up on my phone.
Check this out.
The first thing I think I’m gonna need is Flashlight by John Haney Software. It’s free. We love free. Plus it does other awesome stuff besides light up the yard to check for zombies. It’s got a magnifying lens (for reading first aid manuals), fireworks (because why not?), a strobe light (disco time!), and S.O.S. (because Sting might stop by and what else will we do in our zombie proof bunker besides sending out an S.O.S.?).
Let’s say a zombie gets into my zombie proof bunker and tries to eat my wife? You know I’m gonna open up a can of whoop a** on ‘em! I’ll save her, but I might get a scratch or two in the process. Zombies are tough! So, maybe a little basic first aid is going to come in handy. The American Red Cross has a nifty little app out there that’s just what the doctor ordered. It has videos and simple step-by-step advice. Now I won’t bleed out after kicking some serious zombie butt. YES!!!
So, let’s say while I was killing zombies left and right with my fists of furywe really trashed my (not so) zombie proof bunker? There are holes in the walls. The doors are hanging on the hinges. The windows--wait we never had those. We are going to need some shelter. The American Red Cross wins again with their app called Shelter View. With this app, I can find out when and where shelters have been opened so that we can have a safe zombie-free place to sleep.
But on the other hand, what if the zombies haven’t gotten to my bunker yet? I’ll need 5-0 Radio Police Scanner Lite to help me listen to the police, fire, aircraft, marine (can zombies swim?), and emergency radios to listen to what’s going on outside. If they’re coming in my direction, I want to prepare myself. I must ready my fists of fury.
And of course the zombies will have knocked out all of our electricity because they’re wily like that. What good will all my apps be if I can’t charge my phone? That’s why I’m going to need to harness the power of the sun with the Accessory Power Professional Series ReVIVE Solar ReStore USB Solar Battery Pack. This way, I can be sure all my apps work.
At this point you may be asking: “But what if there is no zombie apocalypse, Adam? What will you do with all your fancy apps then?”
I guess they’ll be good for other things like snow storms and hurricanes and stuff.
And I’ll just have to use my fists of fury elsewhere…